All parents fear bugs and viruses. It’s one of the hardest things we manage: Being sick ourselves, and having to look after our sick children. Most moms I’ve spoken to, don’t get the luxury of being sick. If you’re lying in bed, how do all the things get done? Who looks after the kids, the house, the meals, the appointments, and the school run? If you have an incredibly supportive partner, who will step into the mire so you can recover, you are extremely fortunate – and decidedly in the minority! 

I’ve always felt as though toddlers give us our first peak into the challenging teenage years ahead! Teens are controlled by raging hormones, and toddlers are feral because they operate off of pure instinct. They want that, and they want it now. They don’t want to do that, and they’re not going to do it. Oooooh, it’s just an absolute delight – am I right, moms? To my mind, there’s only one thing worse than a moody toddler, and that’s a sick toddler – in meltdown.

While typical families battle the physical symptoms of a virus, special needs parents are 100% in the trenches with additional adverse behaviours. Some of them, can be really nasty. An autistic child experiencing pain, or inflammation, or struggling to breathe, can be extremely aggressive as well as just generally miserable. So while you care for your kiddo, you may also have to hold a boundary, and block your kiddo’s aggressions. A toddler on the spectrum who is sick and lashing out, is never doing it on purpose. They’re simply trying to communicate that they’re feeling really poorly to you and want you to help make them feel better. But it definitely makes it a high stress situation for everyone.

In the first year of Aidan’s life, he was almost permanently sick with one thing or another. We could barely get two weeks of calm before the next medical crisis hit. He mainly had gastros, but picked up everything else along the way too. Every time we appeared in our paediatrician’s office, grey from lack of energy, and nauseous from lack of sleep, she would assure us that the kids that got sick a lot early on, usually ended up with good strong immune systems as they grew up. But that’s little comfort when you’re trying to administer nasal drops for congestion or a pain suppository at 3am, and your precious little crotch goblin is losing their ever-loving shit! I feel it’s fair to say that special needs parents dread flare-ups and illnesses far more than most other parents do. Because we get all the “bonus features” attached to each. All the extras! Without doubt, the most aggression we’ve ever experienced from Aidan, has always been when he’s had a physical ailment of some kind. And I suspect it’s the same for most readers here! 

I think many families feel shame around these types of challenges, and rarely discuss them with people outside their homes. It inevitably means that you become very isolated, when things are at their hardest. And though it’s the reality, it’s not necessarily healthy. My friends sometimes remark that I’ve completely dropped off the map, and gone dark on all communication channels when Aidan is sick, and they’d be right. I channel all of my time, energy, and focus into alleviating his symptoms and helping him to muddle through whatever virus we’re dealing with at the time. My head is in the game, and staying in touch with other people is very low on my list of priorities! But as time has gone on, I’ve realised that one person always needs to hear from me, regardless of what’s going on at home… and that’s my therapist.

Have you got a therapist? No? Get one! They are absolutely critical to surviving periods of illness at home. For your own mental health, and the better functioning of all members of your household, prioritise that check-in, it’s so important. I remember that when I first started seeing mine, I was a complete basket case! I used to cancel or miss appointments all the time because they’d sneak up on me during the day, and I’d find myself in my pyjamas still, with unwashed hair, and five minutes to make it to her rooms. Fortunately, she is a very experienced counsellor, and she eventually told me to come as I am – even if it’s in dirty clothes, with dirty hair, and a wild look in my eye. She impressed upon me how important it was for me – and my child – for me to just come, no matter the state I was in. And honestly, her steady counsel has kept me sane through some of the hardest periods of our parenting journey. Occasionally, if things were just too hard at home for me to make it in, she and I would do a WhatsApp call, so I could still get the time I needed to process everything properly. She was so flexible, that I was able to continue my therapy despite every kind of struggle we were experiencing – it was an absolute God-send. So the moment your toddler’s thermometer inches past 37C, get onto the phone and make an appointment for yourself with your therapist. Ensure that your wellness is in good nick, so you can best see to your child’s recovery.

All moms have an arsenal of products and potions that they dip into when their little one gets sick. I have made a list of some of my favourite over-the-counter medications, which I hope might be helpful for my readers. All of these items are the best of the best, as far as brands and efficacy goes!

LIST✨

Tommee Tippee dummies 

Snookums honey dummy (some babies prefer these)

Sopure dummy steriliser 

Milton tablets, x32 (for the SAFE washing of baby bottles)

Baby Things travel and grooming kit

Vaseline Blue Seal for babies, 450ml

Bepanthen Baby nappy ointment 

Baby Things bum repair cream (everyday use. Great in winter as isn’t cold on baby’s bum)

Baby Things baby powder, 100g

Medic + kiddies hot or cold gel pack 

Medic + disposable syringes without needles, 3ml syringes, box of 100 (for orally administering all sorts of medications!)

Vicks baby rub, 90g (colds, chest infections – put on baby’s feet)

Vicks Vapor plug-in (colds, chest infections)

Dis-Chem breathe easy oil, 10ml

Iliadin nose drops, 15ml (for small babies)

Iliadin nose spray, 20ml (for older babies – 6months+)

Flo Baby nose drops, 15ml (for small babies)

Flo baby nose spray, 15ml (for older babies – 6months+)

Baby Things handheld nose suction (helps breathing when nose is congested)

Baby Things nose wipes (regular tissues and wipes are too harsh on delicate skin)

Glycerin infant suppositories (for constipation. Cut half a suppository lengthways and cover in Vaseline – for young infants only)

Lacson syrup, 150ml (for constipation)

Tasectan paed, 10x250mg sachets (diarrhoea in infants. Can be put in bottle with feed. Check with doctor for dose before administering)

Panado syrup, strawberry, 100ml (for pain & fever)

Calpol syrup, strawberry, 100ml (for pain & fever)

Empaped infant suppositories, 250mg (paracetamol-based, for pain & fever in ages 1-5)

Panamor suppositories, 12,5mg (ibuprofen-based, for pain, fever and inflammation, in ages 1-5)

Valoid suppositories, 50mg (anti-nausea)

Prospan cough syrup,100ml (non-drowsy)

Rescue Remedy night/day (calming drops, can promote sleep)

Reuterina Vit D (immune boosting probiotic for infants with gut trouble. Can be put in bottle with feed. Check with doctor for dose before administering)

Zinplex syrup, 200ml (immune boosting, sugar-free option)

Allergex syrup, 200ml (great for any food/skin allergic reactions. Drowsy)

Allecet syrup, 200ml (great for any food/skin allergic reactions. Non-drowsy)

Anthisan cream (rapid relief from allergic skin reactions, stings & bites)

Dis-Chem calamine lotion, 100ml (itchiness, bug bites)

Tea Tree Oil (one drop in bath to help with skin irritations)

Epimax baby & junior body lotion, 400ml (extra gentle on skin)

Glycerine soap, 150g (great for sensitive skin)

Eucerin Aquaporin balm, 50ml (bad nappy rash)

Epimax Ultra ointment, 50g (bad nappy rash. Mix with Eucerin Aquaporin above, and apply if rash is really bad)

Dis-Chem Medic Zinc & Castor Oil Ointment, 500g (nappy rash)

Sebamed range – non-fragranced, extra sensitive range of shampoos and soaps etc.

Oh Lief natural olive outdoor balm (for mosquitoes. Only use natural products until 12-months old)

Bytjie Salf Go Go Mosquito balm, 125ml (for mosquitoes. Only use natural products until 12-months old)

Arnica oil (apply with cotton wool to vaccination sites and other bruises. Makes a huge difference to localised pain!)

Telament colic drops, 30ml 

Bennett’s Colic syrup, 100ml 

Dis-Chem surgical spirit, 100ml

Elastoplast wound care spray, 50ml (non-sting antiseptic)

Supiroban, 15g (antiseptic ointment)

Betadine (antiseptic ointment)

Johnson’s bedtime bath wash, lavender, 300ml (aids relaxation and sleep)

Dr Teal’s pure Epsom salt soaking solution, lavender, 450g (helps aching muscles, aids sleep)

Baby Things gel teether (refrigerate for max relief)

Teejel for teething (follow directions)

Micropore surgical tape, 3m (covers cuts, baby can’t remove, gentle on skin)