I’ll never forget the first time Aidan watched a YouTube Kids song on my mobile phone. His discovery of a digital world was simply dazzling to him! And it lit him up from the inside out. It was incredibly predictable and safe for him: The song was the same tune, every time. The cartoon played out the same way, every time. He knew what was coming, every time.
His musical videos were an absolute God-send for us exhausted parents at the time! They seemed to bring him comfort when he was dysregulated, relax him when he was fussy, and enhance the joy he took in his favourite activities. They were one of the biggest and most effective reinforcers we had back then. They were key to helping us to form good and positive associations with people, places, and things that usually caused him anxiety.
Believe me, we weren’t parents who planned on raising our miracle, rainbow baby with much by the way of screen time. We talked at length about how we’d encourage our son to read voraciously, take part in sport, nurture his interests, and commit to his hobbies. We envisioned him studious indoors, and athletic outdoors, but never attached to a screen. We didn’t want to buy our son a mobile phone, iPad, or gaming console until he was at least in his tweens. We wanted him to prefer time with friends, and exploring the great outdoors, to anything electronic that kept him homebound. But oh boy, do things change when autism comes into play!
Us new moms were very active on the Antenatal Group’s WhatsApp chat. We chatted comfortably about our babies’ first few weeks, and asked each other for tips on breastfeeding, night wakings, burping, changing rompers and diaper changes. At that stage, sleeplessness aside, diaper changes were the biggest challenge for us all. Our babies all disliked being undressed, and exposed to a change of temperature. Distraction was the name of the game! I think we all had pretty mobiles hanging over our changing tables and at first, that was enough to get them through the routine. But as our babies grew bigger, stronger, and bored of the bows and baubles overhead, a little more creative thinking was needed! The trick was to keep their hands busy, and a lot of moms had some luck with toys and stuffies, but Aidan wasn’t that way inclined. In the beginning, he could only be diverted by the products we used when we changed his diaper – wipes, bum cream, and various ointments. He’d hold them in his hands, turning them over, studying their shapes and labels as if he were memorising them. And he soon came to expect them to be used in the same way and the same order, every single change. But he was always more attracted to random objects that to toys. He loved to inspect metal serving spoons, compact mirrors, sunglasses, and sets of keys. Our compactum was littered with household and personal items at one point! But at some stage, one of the moms in the group dropped a link to a series of YouTube Kids videos, which totally changed the ball game for us at home: The ‘HeyBear Sensory Dancing Vegetables’ songs.
From the first moment Aidan saw little cartoon vegetables with changing expressions, dancing and rotating against a plain black background, he was hooked. No matter what sort of upset or behaviour he had going on, playing these videos for him, made him laugh. He absolutely loved the one song so much, that it was on near-repeat all day – for every transition he battled with and every care routine he hated. He was even more delighted when he discovered that there were different songs, featuring different veggies, with different dance moves! This series spawned a deep love for children’s shows set to music, and his greatest obsession by far, was ‘Cocomelon’.
I have recently read articles about how addictive and bad for babies ‘Cocomelon’ is. But at the time that Aidan became obsessed with it, I was ignorant of such concerns. The biggest criticism seems to be that the picture changes every four seconds, with Jerrica Sannes, an expert in early childhood development and education, declaring that ‘Cocomelon’ was not only overstimulating, but also likely to cause behavioural problems and attention disorders. She states that, “Cocomelon is so hyper-stimulating, that it acts like a drug, a stimulant.” Oblivious to any of this, we found Aidan’s absorption in the show super cute and sometimes amusing, observing how he would set down whatever he was doing to watch a certain part of an episode. And very soon, just as ‘Dancing Vegetables’ had, the ‘Cocomelon’ soundtrack became the background music of our days.
When Aidan was tall enough to stand on tiptoe in our braai room, he’d reach up towards the TV while the show was on, as if he wanted to touch the picture. If you were foolish enough to pick him up and bring him closer to the screen, he wouldn’t want to be put down again. He wanted to understand how 2D characters with faces, bodies, movement, and speech, would be flat to the touch, yet be moving around their own 3D world onscreen. He really just wanted to get a closer look at depth, colour, movement, and how it all worked! To that end, he began to use tools he found to hand, to try to bring the TV closer to him. He was always a super smart kid! And it meant that we had to be extremely vigilant around leaving anything that could be used to touch the TV within Aidan’s reach, such as brooms, mops, bubble wands, and even plastic golf clubs.
‘Miss Rachel’ seems to be a show that many autism moms and kiddos love. Some moms feel it’s helped to develop their kiddos’ expressive language even. But Aidan has always preferred fantastical characters and cartoons, over human presenters for some reason. ‘Cocomelon’ was his absolute favourite show, until he began to become triggered by it. To this day, we don’t know how or why! He then moved on to ‘Little Baby Bum’ and ‘Simple Songs’, with equal passion. It seemed a bit of a milestone almost, when he eventually developed his love of ‘Peppa Pig’ and ‘The Teletubbies’ – by far the most annoying show so far! Aidan now watches a huge variety of different shows on YouTube Kids. Even some foreign language ones! He particularly loves Spanish, Japanese, and Greek commentaries. Though he was once always glued to a screen, he’s picking them up less and less these days. He has to be in the right mood to enjoy his iPad, and would far rather be running outside or playing trains with one of us. So though we never imposed screen time limitations on him, and allowed him to use his devices to help him regulate when needed, he’s made the step away from them, all on his own.
