One of the things that my mom absolutely swore by, was having a night nanny to help out during the early days of motherhood. It’s a privilege few can afford, and most people don’t have, and she was incredibly fortunate to have when I was born. I had never considered it, and didn’t feel we’d need it, but my mom was not the only person who recommended hiring help. A cousin of mine, younger than me and a mother of two, told me to get as much support as we could afford from the outset. And a few of the older ladies at my baby shower also recommended employing a night nanny, if at all possible. I began to consider it, because I had heard that the first months were pretty sleepless and that new moms, full of hormones, were vulnerable to overwhelm and postpartum disorder. Given that I suffered with anxiety disorder already, it seemed like a golden opportunity to put support in place for myself from the outset.
And so, what not many people know is, when Aidan was born, my parents very generously organised for us to have a lovely night nanny. Her name was Rancia and she got settled into our spare bedroom a few weeks ahead of my planned c-section. She helped me setup the care items in the nursery and pack a hospital bag in anticipation of giving birth. She seemed so nice, and I had a good feeling about her! I spent some time getting to know her and asking lots of questions about what to expect as a new mom! Our team was in place, and I finally felt a bit more confident about bringing home a newborn.
But you know what they say about the best laid plans… Aidan decided he wanted to make his entrance three weeks early, and I was catapulted into motherhood by an unplanned, emergency c-section. My birth was extremely traumatic and chaotic, and I came home from the hospital feeling tired, overwhelmed, and anxious with our miracle rainbow baby. Rancia was so kind and immediately stepped in to give me as much support as possible. But despite her high level of professionalism and care, and sooner than I ever would have expected, I soon began to feel as though having a night nanny was not for us. Here’s the thing… Once earth side, my newborn baby cried a lot. And as a new mum, I felt an overwhelming need to have him close to me at all times. I knew that Rancia was here to help us, and that I should take full advantage of being able to hand my baby over at nighttime so I could get some proper rest, but instead I felt that I should be managing the overnights myself. This was pretty frustrating for my husband, Monty. We were extraordinarily fortunate to have live-in help and it was clear that I needed support, but what I really wanted was for our baby to sleep with us, which would mean far less rest for the both of us going forward. I weighed the pros and cons before letting Rancia go, but ultimately decided that I wanted to care for my own baby, and not have him behind a closed door down the passage from me. So as wonderful, sweet, kind, helpful, and well-meaning as our night nanny was, we decided to part ways after only a couple of few weeks.
One of the great things to come out of the experience though, was that Rancia introduced us to ‘The Log Book’. She explained how numerous things might affect Aidan’s night’s rest so it would be useful for her if we noted certain things down during the day. It is basically the same system as what nurses use for their patients in the hospital. No matter who is on night shift, there’s a written record of everything that has transpired over the course of the day. It’s very clever, actually! She asked to know:
- What time he drank his milk formula bottles and how much he drank of each.
- When he had a bowel action, and what its consistency was.
- When he napped, and for how long.
- Details of any medication we gave him, what dosage, and what time they were administered.
Even after Rancia had moved on to another lovely family, I used the log book as my own reference and it came in very handy! Mostly because I was so sleep deprived and overwhelmed at times that I could barely put together a coherent thought, let alone work out what was going on for Aidan in a high octane moment! But having a detailed log for reference enabled me to track all of Aidan’s bodily functions and his sleep, which allowed me to more ably anticipate what his overnight needs might be. The data was so detailed that we were also able to track the progression of illnesses in minute detail, which Aidan’s paediatrician found extremely helpful too. Particularly because Aidan was suffering with physical ailments we hadn’t gotten to the bottom of yet, and we couldn’t know if he was properly sick or not by crying alone. Interestingly, once his allergies, reflux, and constipation were formally diagnosed, a lot of information recorded in the log book suddenly made more sense! It turns out that a lot can be deciphered by simply studying a baby’s bowel actions and appetite!
I can see how a log book may be overkill for some other parents, but it honestly worked really well for us! So much so, that I was totally dedicated to keeping it updated and we used it for 2.5 years! The data eliminated a lot of confusion for us in so many different ways. Flipping through them now, I can clearly see when Aidan was unwell, when he was teething, and when he was on a growth spurt. I kind of feel like a log book could be a useful tool for all new parents! But perhaps more so for special needs parents, whose kiddos have a number of medical complexities. It helps to pare down the long list of possible causes when your nonspeaking child is crying, dysregulated, and you are searching for reasons as to why.
