I feel very fortunate to be raising my child within a low-to-no-judgement community. Special needs moms are extremely supportive of one another! Because even though our kiddos are unique and our experiences slightly different to the next mom’s, we know all too well how hard this life can be at times. Caring for vulnerable children with developmental delays, communication challenges, and social struggles is exhausting – even on a good day. We battle sleep deprivation, high anxiety, the constant worry about how our child is doing in the now, and the fear of what the future holds for them. It’s never a burden of course, but it’s a heavy load. It sits on our chests and weighs us down. 

As a special needs mom, I have read something I can relate to in almost any post shared within our online support groups. And I absolutely love how other moms will jump onto a thread just to acknowledge the share, the words, and the experience of another mom. And even better, they’ll offer their experience, advice, support, love, and take the time to remind the OP that they are an amazing mom, doing an exceptional job, in difficult circumstances. It’s family-level support, no doubt about it. And I think that’s because we feel genuine care for fellow parents who are struggling. We relate to each other’s overwhelm, and recognise each other’s deepest fears. It’s kind of amazing, isn’t it?! I feel like our special needs community is a safe space for moms just trying to show up everyday and do what’s best for our kiddos. If only all “mom groups” were like this! They should be, but they’re not…

It seems like the average mom group can get a bit wild sometimes. There is a level of support, definitely. But there’s just as much nasty judgment and criticism. Some OP’s are practically chased off the internet with pitch forks and flaming torches! It’s so unkind, and so unnecessary. Every group member is sharing for support, but that’s not always what they get. 

I’m always surprised and saddened when I see women tearing down other women, when they could just as easily comment with a “so sorry you’re going through this”, or simply scroll on by! Truly, some of the biggest outpourings of love and support I’ve had, have been from total strangers in autism support groups online. I wish everyone had such a safe space to ask the questions that keep us up at night.

I hope that we as a society move away from being keyboard warriors and towards being solidarity sisters. One can only hope that those that need advice and encouragement, find it out there – somehow, some way. Because every single mom out there is doing an absolutely phenomenal job! And every single one deserves to be championed by the communities they’ve trusted with their journeys.