The best piece of advice we ever got was: “The easiest way to comfort a cranky baby is to put them in water or take them outside.”
Early on, we found that Aidan could be calmed by just a few minutes in the garden, or quick dip in the bath. Either, would press pause on even the biggest sob-athon! We always tried to soothe him with cuddles first, but if that just wasn’t cutting it, we’d step out onto the stoep and let him breathe in some sunshine and fresh air. Jasmine bloomed abundantly around our front door back then, and he’d uncurl his tiny fingers to tentatively touch its soft tendrils, soaking in its fragrant sweet smell.
As a newborn, Aidan didn’t enjoy his pram. Or his crib. Or his car seat. Or his baby swing. And the item he hated most was his baby carrier. He absolutely refused to be manoeuvred into it, and loathed its near cousin, the baby sling. Basically, anything that took him away from being up against your body, was a big “no-no” for him. It was absolutely exhausting, because it was impossible to hold him all the time. I had to use the restroom, shower, change, and things had to get done around the house! I was pumped full of fresh postpartum hormones, and already feeling more overwhelmed than usual, but I tried my best to navigate the early days and nights, putting him down as little as possible. Whenever I did, my baby cried the most forlorn and tormented cry imaginable! It was almost as if Aidan wasn’t quite ready for the big scary wide world. He seemed terrified of being parted from me.
With Aidan resisting all attempts to make him mobile, and with a COVID lockdown lingering on, we spent most of our first days and weeks at home. We were both desperate to get our baby out and about, but Aidan was having none of it. It was Monty’s idea to try to take Aidan out for walks in the early mornings. He felt sure that an easy stroll down the quiet roads of our neighbourhood, would be the best possible start to our days.
Monty was an early riser, and he’d get up while it was still dim and chilly outside. He worked through some tears to get Aidan all bundled up and ready to go, then walked the pram down our cul-de-sac and around the neighbourhood. They did 5-6km’s every morning, spending up to two hours ambling down tracks, along paths, and across fields, just chilling and taking in the sights together. It was an incredibly bonding time for the two of them, and Monty would tell me all about Aidan’s amazing and adorable reactions to things they encountered along their route. It was a full-on adventure for our little boy, who loved every cloud, every bird, every overhanging branch, every dog on a lead, and every passing car.
Realising that the key to gaining Aidan’s full cooperation was by building good associations with the things that made him anxious, we set to work troubleshooting the car seat and baby swing. We got to the point where Aidan loved his pram above all else, the car seat was a close second, and the baby swing could keep him occupied while I washed and steamed his bottles in the kitchen. He just had to be able to see me still. The only thing he never accepted was the carrier. He wanted to be held and carried. And he wasn’t prepared to let us outsource the job!
His love of his pram was so profound, that just being in it seemed to soothe him. He’d sometimes climb up into it at home, just to sit there and be still. Once he could totter around, he’d try to push it into our path to prompt an outing. He often fell asleep in it, and we had to be a bit careful around the times he went down for naps in case he passed out early. If Aidan was refusing to fall asleep at night, we’d sometimes pop him into his pram and walk him in a loop around the dining room table. We didn’t have Apple Watches in those days, but I’m pretty sure we clocked a record number of steps with this activity alone!
That one tip for calming babies, and Monty’s inspired idea to take Aidan on early morning walks, really turned things around for us – in just so many ways. If any new mom or special needs mom is reading this, I can’t recommend it highly enough – outdoors, water, and morning walks for the WIN!
